Some help and inspiration for overwhelmed moms
Feeling overwhelmed is completely normal as a mother of young kids. But it’s also very unpleasant and you can do something about it. Hopefully, some of the thoughts I share here resonate with you!
- Stay close to yourself and what feels good for you. Even if other parents might have some good advice, stick to your own ways if it suits you better and feels better. Trust your own motherly instinct. Keep in mind that giving love is the most important thing you can give your child.
- Create a morning ritual. This can be as simple as taking some time to have breakfast with your family, without your phone. Or starting your day with a coffee just by yourself before the rest of the family wakes up. What’s most important is that you don’t start your day rushing. This will influence the rest of your day. A morning ritual is what takes me to my next point.
- Slow down and make some time every week for reflection. Better even: every day. Even if it’s just 10 minutes. Wake up before your child does, so you have some peace and quiet to hear yourself think and feel what’s going on inside of you. Preferably do this in the morning. Of course, this depends on broken nights, when your little one wakes up etc. You definitely don’t want to do this when your child has already woken up, because this will distract you too much. So, if the evening is better for you, of course you can do that, too. The important thing is: In our busy modern lives and especially as a mother of babies or toddlers, there is so much going on on a daily basis. And there’s so much distraction. If you don’t stop once in a while, contemplate and feel, you won’t feel centered and in control of your own life and before you know it, you’re not living the life that YOU really want.
- Take care of yourself. You can only help others (be a good mom, a good partner, a good employee etc.) if you take good care of yourself first. It’s like the safety drill in an airplane: Put on your own oxygen mask first and only then help your child. But what does ‘taking care of yourself’ really mean? Of course, it can be wonderful to go to the hairdresser once in a while or have your nails done. But that’s not enough. I would recommend something more structural. Something you can do every week, like for example having a coffee by yourself at your favorite coffee place or take some time to read a book that you love. Ask your partner or someone else to take care of the kids in the meantime. You deserve it!
- Become a single tasker. Focus on the one task at hand. Step by step, you will manage and take care of several tasks that need to be done. But if you’re constantly thinking about all the things you need to do or even try to do several things simultaneously, you will feel overwhelmed. Focusing on one task at a time will make you feel calmer and more centered.
- Practice meditation and/or yoga. These are two very powerful tools to feel more centered and stay close to who you are as a person and they can work very well when you feel stressed, overwhelmed or anxious even. Insight Timer is a meditation app that can be used free of charge. Meditation Moments is also a good option. A meditation can seem very difficult to do, because it takes time and people often think that you are not supposed to think anything while meditating. Not thinking is impossible. It’s about becoming aware of your thoughts, the silence in between and being able to let the thoughts go. You don’t have to get engaged in them. A meditation does not necessarily need to be long. 10 minutes can already help. For yoga I highly recommend yoga school Yogaya in Utrecht (www.yogaya.nl) You can join physical classes, but they also have a digital library of videos if you prefer that.
- Go for a walk in nature or do a work-out (running, the gym, whatever works for you). It’s a way to improve your mood, as it leads to higher dopamine levels. When you have a small child that still naps several times a day, it can feel challenging to do this. One way to tackle this, is to go for a walk with your little one in the stroller and let him or her sleep there. There are also special strollers for running, so you can even go for a run with your little one!
- Try to see the humor in things. It can be frustrating to give your toddler a good morning kiss saying ‘I love you’ and then getting back ‘You stink mom’. But it’s also really funny and laughing is healthy! 😊
Did you like the thoughts I shared with you here? If you would like to discuss how I can support you to become a happier and more balanced mom, please get in touch to arrange a short phone call. You can contact me at email@example.com or +31-(0)30-3403992. You’re more than welcome!